The Bad Rep of the Fanny Pack

On the playground of fashion, no one gets more crap from the other kids than the mullet. But he’s not alone. Sitting right next to him in a pile of pea gravel with… Continue reading

The Art of Getting Dressed

It is no secret females are inclined to not know what to wear and change indefinite amount of times before leaving the house. I have mastered dressing only once a day, but some… Continue reading

Didn’t you wear a coat?

1. It wouldn’t be so cold if people used more aerosol hairspray. 2. There wouldn’t be so much snow if people installed underground heating systems, concrete was made of salt and squirrels spent… Continue reading

The Apocalypse and Nordstrom Rack

[The following events are true and possibly over-dramatized.] People are mostly insane. I tend to feel this way after a Saturday at the Mall of America. In college it was easier to go… Continue reading

5 Grievances of a Fashion Geek

5 trends I decided to gripe about. I find these truths to be self-evident. VEGAN LEATHER This is a bit of a contradiction, no? I feel there may be a miffed cow somewhere wanting… Continue reading

Do these pants make my closet look fat?

If there is one thing that drives me crazy, it is limitation. Next to that is chaos within limitation. So basically this…the most restricted organized mess in the history of closets. The minimal-square-foot… Continue reading

Everyone Loves a New Favorite Shirt

I especially love a new shirt that is one of a kind collaboration between my cousin the artist and an independent designer who sews everything…one of a kind…from scratch. Check out these two… Continue reading

Wayne Campbell, Express and the Reason I’m Still Single

I am not positive, but it’s possible one of the reasons I am still single is the fact that I haven’t found a Wayne Campbell wearing Express on the regular. That’s right, Wayne… Continue reading

What are you? 12?

I recently unearthed a shirt I had kept from when I was 12. And I mean unearthed in a literal sense. It’s like we kept all my stuff in a hole in the ground, in boxes made… Continue reading

This is Not the Time for Underwear

Note: It is underwear not panty. Panty is for the breathy, borderline pervy, British woman in Victoria’s Secret commercials. Those ads make me want to wear boxers and avoid underwear synonyms all together.… Continue reading